Compassion Over Pity

Pity is a passive emotional state of being. The existence of pity relies completely on there being a victim, whether that is another or us. Pity for others is given when we deem them a “helpless victim”. Self-pity is when we convince ourselves that we are the “helpless victim”. Giving or feeling pity requires no action nor does it compel one to take it. A relationship based on pity creates a toxic dynamic where one is the “victim” who depends on the generosity of one who is the “savior” .

Here at Buckaroos we do not buy into the idea of the “helpless victim” nor the “generous savior”. We do not feel, nor hire, nor guide out of a sense of pity for individuals with differing abilities. My two sisters and I are individuals with differing abilities. At Buckaroos we approach and operate out of compassion and understanding. We use the wording of "differing abilities" because we all have some abilities that are weak and other that are strong.

Compassion is an active state of being. Its existence relies entirely on empathy for others or for ourselves. Having compassion for others means actively seeing them as equals with limitless potential whose struggles we can empathize with. Compassion for ourselves means actively understanding our struggles are not unique to us alone and that we are not bound nor defined by them alone. I believe compassion acknowledges the reality of struggle but it does not limit nor define one to it.

I feel compassion for the people Buckaroos seeks to serve, because I know that other people’s pity has chained them to the label of “helpless victim” and affords them little space or opportunity to unleash their God given potential.

For the longest time I let self-pity control the narrative of who I was, I believed that I was this helpless and powerless “victim” and that it was the world’s fault for my disabilities and that it had a responsibility to take care of me. Self-pity gave me the excuse to abdicate any responsibility to live into the potential I did and do have. My Mom’s compassion for me and constant prodding to live into my gifts is what dispelled self-pity (also a few Come To Jesus Conversations, I can be quite stubborn at times, she has the patience of a saint, I bet most Moms do.)

At Buckaroos we will offer compassion and gently nudge everyone under our employment (including me and especially me as I need constant reminding) to embrace their gifts and unleash their potential. We don’t and won’t jump on every mistake, but instead affirm gifts and gently correct happy accidents (as the late Bob Ross coined)

Whether pity comes from within or without, it imprisons people to victimhood. Compassion lets us form relationships where people are seen, struggles are shared, and gifts are celebrated. I feel so lucky to work at Buckaroos Slices and Scoops that practices Compassion Over Pity.