I'm Still Standing
“Hopes and Worries: I worry that I am incompetent and not able to handle a project of this size. I am Terrified of the debt. I don’t know why my parents are willing to be so much on me. I hope this project gives me confidence that I can do stuff. I hope it succeeds. I worry that I will be overwhelmed. I don’t think I can pull this off, but I hope to prove myself wrong.” My Buckaroos’ Journal Entry 9/3/18
On the third of September, 2018, we really began working on Buckaroos (not yet named), at our kitchen table. Before we got to planning my Mom presented my sisters and I with journals to write down our thoughts and feelings as the project moved along. I only wrote three times, but each of these entries perfectly capture the Kenny of 2018.
"I believed this project would overwhelm me, I’m still standing."
When re-reading these entries I’ve realized I’M STILL STANDING! With a lot of assistance along the way I have been able to contribute to Buckaroos. This project has given me a little confidence in myself. When I am given the tools I need, a lot of help, and direction I am able to live into my potential.
My Dad and I worked together to find a great conveyor pizza oven. We found an awesome deal for it and know it in and out. Billy Ashenden, a family friend who interned with us this past summer, and I created a comprehensive cost analysis spreadsheet, that took an enormous amount of research, measuring, and calculating. My Mom and I created thorough order guides for ordering the products we need every week.
Shopping for Equipment
“I think we, my sisters and I will work well together. The name “Buckaroos Slices and Scoops” sounds great! I am worried that I will be inept at this business and so am terrified of the debt to come. I am getting excited and more worried as the business becomes more and more real” My Buckaroos’ Journal Entry 9/7/18
Can I really do this?
I feel like I have partially proven the Kenny of 2018 wrong. At the very least I know that I can work hard and with the proper guidance and help I can work well. My family and I have accomplished a lot in the last year. We are setting ourselves up to be as prepared as anyone can be. I also believe we are living into God’s plan of creating a business and mission where people with differing abilities can succeed.
I am capable of a LOT with the right support and an adapted environment!
“I don’t understand why my parents are risking so much for me to succeed in this business. Don’t they know that my disabilities and my brain make me totally useless? I hope and wish to gain just a fraction of their faith in me.” My Buckaroos’ Journal Entry 9/14/18
Learning new skills
I am still standing and that it is progress and an achievement in itself. I believed this project would overwhelm me, I’m still standing. I believed my fears of the debt would crush me, I’m still standing. I believed my brain would quit on me, I’m still standing. The obstacles this past year have made me stronger. Working and being interdependent with others let me maximize my skills and talents. My Mom always says “Hard isn’t bad, hard is just hard”. I know I must have the hard to realize my strengthens and that hard doesn’t need to knock me down.